


speak what you are

by Rianne



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Coming Out, Fluff, M/M, You've Got Mail AU (sort of)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-04
Updated: 2018-02-04
Packaged: 2019-03-13 15:22:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13573374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rianne/pseuds/Rianne
Summary: What if Kent is secretly fluent in Russian? Fluent enough to have been chatting to this anonymous Russian guy online for months?





	speak what you are

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Artifactrix](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Artifactrix/gifts).



> I stole a prompt from the Parse Posi Discord and ran with it. Credit to garden-of-succulents for the original prompt and artifactrix for cheering on and co-creating this little tidbit. 
> 
> This is really just some sort of mid-way evolutionary form between a bullet point fic and an actual fic, so... yeah. Just run with it, it'll be fun!

Here’s the premise:

  * Kent and Tater have been talking online for a long time
  * Don’t ask me how they met online, they just did
  * Kent speaks Russian and is fluent in two domains: hockey, and internet chatspeak.
  * (Actually three domains, the third one being dirty talk, but that’s not relevant to this fic, though it will eventually be _very_ relevant to Tater’s life.)
  * I have been told there’s a very specific Russian Internet Lingo used primarily by young men where there is a LOT of swearing
  * He speaks Russian in other contexts as well, with Russian teammates etc, but in speech he’s not as fluent as over text
  * Kent goes by Nikita online and Alexei goes by Anton
  * They don’t know where the other lives or what they do
  * Everything is fine



They probably wouldn’t have met in real life, other than on the ice, if it hadn’t been for the fact that Alexei comes out.

He doesn’t plan to come out, but he goes to Pride one year, and there have been rumors about him and another guy in the past, and for some reason the press takes hold of the story and doesn’t let go. Georgia assures him he can clam up and wait until it goes away, that it’s his decision to make. And it _is_ his decision, but it doesn’t feel like much of a choice. He can’t deal with this uncertainty, with being scrutinized and waiting for the other shoe to drop. So he decides to come out, even though he’d never planned to, never really wanted to. Maybe it’ll do something good for kids in Russia, or kids in hockey, or both, to see him be out and be himself. There’s an interview and then a press release and then more interviews, and at the end of it, he’s out just about as publicly as one can conceivably be.

It means he can’t go home.

It’s a good thing he’s got dual citizenship, owing to a complicated history his mom has with Russia and with Ukraine and with the US.

After the first media storm dies down, he dives into the ambassadorship. The NHL obviously loves being able to point to him as a token, so they run with it throughout the season. Then the summer comes up, and they want him to shoot some videos and then do a You Can Play hockey camp aimed at LGBTQ+ teenagers.

Alexei has had a hard season. Now it’s the first summer he won’t be spending in Russia. He’s mostly made his peace with that, but it’s painful. It’s also painful that a lot of the Russian NHL players he used to be friends with have become distant—either because it’s not safe to be seen with him anymore, or because they’re just homophobic themselves. It’s painful and hard, so he agrees to do the PR stuff—it’ll be a good distraction, and it’ll let him help those kids.

Meanwhile he keeps talking to Nikita online. He's still not sure if this guy he met online is actually in Russia, because they haven't exchanged a lot of personal information. The guy is certainly up at all hours both in Russian and US time zones. With all the Russian NHL’ers ignoring him, it’s nice to talk to someone who speaks his language for once.

Besides, he's just... so glad to have made this close friend, who sat with him through the worst of it, and was supportive, and kept asking if he was really okay. So Nikita just means a lot to him, and he's kind of aware he might be crushing even though he's never even seen this guy's face.

Something he's a lot less pleased about is that the NHL picked Kent Parson, of all people, to be his partner in the You Can Play promotional activities. They asked a bunch of big names to be the Token Ally, and Parson was the one who ended up doing it. Alexei isn’t sure why Parson said yes. Not because he expected Parson, specifically, to be more or less of a homophobe than the rest of the players, but just because they've never really seen eye to eye. The Falcs and the Aces don't... exactly have a rivalry, since they're in different conferences, but... there’s still that Great Parson-Zimmermann Rivalry the NHL keeps trying to promote. It doesn’t endear Parson to Alexei. And Parson always seems so fake in his media appearances. Alexei has just started being a hell of a lot less fake in his media appearances (not that he was ever as bad as Parson).

Anyway, he expects to have to grit his teeth through working with Parson. So he's kind of pleasantly surprised when Parson's wide media grins only last until it's just him and Tater in the room, and then Kent says, "Hey, man, I know you were kinda forced into it, but that was fucking brave. Just FYI.”

Alexei hasn't really had a lot of people acknowledge that it wasn’t really his choice, so it's... it's nice. Of course, Parson almost immediately goes back to smirking at everything in sight. Alexei wonders sometimes if he just dreamed that moment of sincerity. But all in all, working with Parson isn’t so bad.

He tells his online buddy about a weird new co-worker. (He hasn't told Nikita he's famous. Just that he works in the States and was outed and can’t go back to Russia. He told him a couple of weeks after it happened, actually, though he's not sure he mentioned at the time that it was a little while ago already... it just felt really immediate still.)

Nikita tells him he's doing a PR thing for work, and Alexei tells him they're in the same boat, and they commiserate a little.

He and Parson are taping a couple of You Can Play videos, first. Parson is much better at it than Alexei—he gets to do it in his first language, and Alexei's English is fine, it really is, but it's harder when it's planned and scripted, for some reason.

Eventually he gets frustrated and Parson is definitely smirking at him and Alexei goes, " _Oh yeah, well I'd like to see you try it in Russian."_ He says it in Russian, so he doesn't expect a response.

Except Parson definitely has an accent and doesn't sound super fluent but he says, _"Fair point, I think that would go about as well as this."_

He didn't really expect Parson to speak Russian, and it's been two weeks since he last called his parents, and nobody else speaks Russian with him much right now, other than through chat. So it's, uh. It's a bit of a shock, and he's definitely staring at Kent.

Also he may or may not be rapidly re-evaluating how much of the shit he's said to Parson on the ice Parson might've actually understood.

Parson starts fidgeting after a couple of seconds and says, still in Russian, _"What?"_

_"Where'd you learn Russian?"_ Tater asks.

_"I have Russian teammates and I played in the KHL during the lockout,"_ he says, which definitely doesn't explain it, but he adds, " _I'm good at languages, I guess."_ That must be an understatement, if he picked up this much just from talking to teammates and a stint in the KHL.

At this point a cameraman reminds him that they're still trying to shoot. And it actually goes much better after he's switched to Russian for a minute, so it's not long until they're done. They have another shoot the next day, and then a day off before there's a You Can Play kids' camp.

On the day off, he expects to just kind of hang around the city on his own, except Kent texts him (and how does Kent even have his number? and since when is he Kent and not Parson?) and asks if he wants to hang out. Which... he actually kind of does. He's been lonely, back in Providence, with most of his teammates gone for the summer. So he says yes, and they go see the city for a few hours, and then Kent somehow convinces Tater to come back to his hotel room and watch bad movies. And they do, and it's... it's fun. Kent is different when there aren't cameras around; he smirks less and smiles more, and he's relaxed and funny and gregarious

Alexei is beginning to suspect he might have a Problem here.

It gets worse the next day, because then he gets to see Kent Parson with kids. Teenagers, really, which is apparently better because Kent tells him he never knows what to do with actual children but he likes teens. And it's clear that he does like teens. They coach hockey, and Kent takes time for all of them to talk to him, asks questions about their lives.

And he's so much less... brittle? artificial? around the kids. You can tell he cares.

Most of the kids (though not all) are LGBTQ+. Before they actually started this camp, Alexei kind of thought Kent was just doing this for the publicity (he seemed his usual fake self in those supportive ally videos he did), except he asks the kids earnestly about their experiences and listens carefully to the answers. It's clear he's affected when a couple of them tell stories about bullying and hard stuff they went through.

There's this one kid. He looks a little like Alexei imagines Kent looked, when he was fourteen. And he's very good. Out of the bunch that's there, it seems most likely he's going to go somewhere in hockey.

The kid hangs around after one of the practices. Alexei is cleaning up pucks with a trans girl called Maria who's telling him about switching from boys' to girls' teams, and Kent is talking to the blond kid on the other side of the rink, their heads bowed together.

Eventually, Maria goes to get changed, and when Alexei turns, he's alone on the ice. He's not sure where Kent has gone, and he doesn't like that. Something feels off.

He checks the locker room they've been using, but Kent isn't there. He wanders the corridors for a bit until he finds an open door to a dark meeting room, where he can definitely hear sniffles. Kent jumps up as soon as Alexei steps in, wiping at his face

"Hey," he says. "Uh, sorry, I'm--I'll be there in a minute, I know we have that, uh, that interview, please just, uh, give me a minute." He's half turned away, so his face is mostly shadows.

"Kent, you okay?" Alexei asks.

"Yeah, yeah, 'course, I'm—Shit. I'm fine," Kent says.

He doesn't look fine.

"What's wrong?" Tater asks. He steps into the room, closes the door behind him. It's even darker now, but he doesn't feel like Kent would want him to turn on the lights.

"It's nothing. Danny was just, uh, he was uh, telling me about wanting to go pro and like... That he didn't know if he'd be able to do it, 'cause he doesn't feel like he could be out, and he doesn't feel like he could be closeted, and I just—" Kent takes a shuddering breath.

Alexei doesn't know what to do with Kent when he's like this, but he's kind of amazed at how much compassion Kent shows, when he's always seemed kind of distant. "It's okay, Kent," he says, and even though Kent has been Kent in his head for days now, he's still been calling him Parse. His name feels good to say.

"I just—I just wanted to tell him, you know," Kent says. "I wanted to tell him it'd be fine. But it's—I mean, you've been—and I've been—There's no solution." He takes another deep breath and his chest shudders, and he says, "You're out and it sucks, and I'm not out and it sucks."

"Oh," Alexei says.

Kent bites his lip and looks up at him, his eyes bright in the dark. "They asked me to do this camp," he says. "And I almost said no. Felt too dangerous, you know?"

"Yeah," Alexei says, because that's how he'd felt about that Pride he went to, and it _had_ been too dangerous.

"I'm glad I'm here," Kent says.

"Is good that you are here," Alexei says. "Thank you."

Kent wipes at his face again. "Right. Yeah. I'm... I'm sorry about this." He gestures at himself, at his face that's probably tear-streaked in the darkness.

"Is okay," Alexei says. "Kent, of course is okay. Thank you for trusting me."

Kent sighs, and it seems to calm him down. "Thanks," he says. "Just... Give me a minute, okay?"

Alexei does.

\--

He's talking to Nikita that night, and he's kind of tempted to tell him, but he doesn't know where to start, because he's only told him the bare bones of what he's up to right now. Then Nikita says, _"I came out to someone today."_

It's news to Alexei that his internet buddy is gay. The guy's been listening patiently to Alexei's stories about being out against his will, but he never said anything about himself. And this is... a lot of coincidence, especially when Nikita tells him he was kind of emotional and it just sort of came out, and that the guy he came out to is also gay.

But... but it has to be a coincidence.

Alexei is now much more concerned about Nikita's whereabouts, too. What if he _is_ in Russia? Is he safe? It is 3 am, and nobody else would be up at 3 am talking to some internet buddy, right? So he might very well be in another time zone.

\--

The next day, Kent is looking pretty bleary-eyed, and when Alexei asks him if he's okay, he says, "Yeah, fine, I was just up late talking to a friend."

"A friend?" Tater asks, and he can't quite keep his tone level.

Kent looks at him for a moment, then goes weirdly defensive. "Boyfriend," he amends.

…Well then. Well. Kent can't be Nikita, because they're not dating, as Alexei is very aware.

And he's surprised by how disappointed he is to find that he hasn’t been talking to Kent. But he is glad Kent has somebody. He thinks maybe he’s supposed to ask for details, but he finds he doesn’t really want to know. Or maybe he does want to know, too much, but either way he just nods and follows Kent onto the ice. Kent doesn’t say anything more about his boyfriend, and Alexei doesn’t ask.

Privacy is important, Alexei gets that. Man, does Alexei ever get that. Kent will tell him if he wants to. If he’s ready.

There's four days of camp left. Alexei talks to Kent during the day and to Nikita at night. He has a problem because both of these men mean way too much to him, one of them is taken, and the other is in probably-Russia, where Alexei can't even enter the country for the foreseeable future.

\--

The day before the last day, Kent texts him after they've both gone to their hotel rooms and asks him to hang out. The thing about it is, he texts him in Russian. And first of all, Kent is far more fluent over text than he was in speech. And also it's... there's something familiar about it

So he shoots back an _"I'll be there in half an hour"_ and then a _"Your Russian is better over text"._ He grabs a clean shirt and puts it on before he checks back with his phone.

_"My boyfriend is Russian",_ Kent has texted back. There’s a bunch of follow-up texts.

_"He's not actually my boyfriend"_

_"I just kind of wish he was"_

_"Sorry, that's weird, I shouldn't be offloading my shit onto you"_

_"It's fine"_ Tater texts. His palms are sweaty. _"You can tell me if you like."_

It should probably not be surprising when Kent's next text just says _, "His name's Anton."_

But Alexei still drops his phone, and then he scrambles for it and it slides under the bed, and it takes him a lot of maneuvering to get it back. He has a couple more texts when he finally looks at the screen again.

_"I talk to him a lot and I really like him, but I don't even know where he lives"_

_"It's kind of pathetic and I don't even know if I want him to live in Russia or here because if he lives in Russia then I don't have to worry about subjecting him to a boyfriend who isn't ever going to be out"_

_"I mean that's a lie, I definitely do want him to live here"_

_"sorry, you don't want to hear about this"_

Alexei definitely wants to hear about this. Another text comes in.

_"Anyway he probably doesn't even like me back so it's whatever you know"_

Alexei doesn't respond to the text messages because he doesn't know what to say. Instead, he puts his phone in his pocket and goes down to Kent's floor and knocks on the door. Kent opens it. He's got his phone in his hand, toying with it nervously. He gestures Alexei inside and then he says, "Sorry about that, I didn't mean to—"

"Why you pick Nikita?" Alexei blurts out.

_"What?"_ Kent says, going very pale very fast.

"Is not what I meant to say," Alexei says, rubbing at his neck. "Sorry. Meant to say, I live here, not in Russia, and am happy to have you even if you are never out."

"What," Kent says again. It's silent for a couple seconds, Kent just staring at him, until Alexei starts to wonder if he misunderstood something here. Or maybe...

"Unless," he says, "You not want me when I'm Alexei, not Anton. Would be fine."

It would not be fine.

Kent swallows. "I—You—You're... _You're_ Anton," he says.

"I am," Alexei says.

"Oh," Kent says. "That's—That's—" He sits down on his hotel bed.

He looks very overwhelmed, and Alexei has already given up the game, so he might as well keep talking. "I really like you, Kent," he says. "Really like Nikita, too. Didn't know how to choose. Now you are same person. If you don't like me, is okay. But I like you a lot."

Kent looks up. His face is still pretty blank, but he pats the bed next to him, and Alexei sits down.

"But you didn't... you didn't know they were both me?" Kent says.

"You say last week, staying up late to talk to friend," Alexei says. "I thought maybe. Then you say, is boyfriend. I thought, boyfriend is lucky."

Kent huffs out a breath. "Yeah, I guess that was just wishful thinking."

"Does not have to be wishful thinking," Alexei said. "Could be real thinking." But he still doesn't know if Kent likes him, not just Anton. Until Kent finally meets his eyes, and he's smiling just a little bit, and Alexei knows.

"Yeah, okay," Kent says. "I can... I can do real thinking."

"Good," Alexei says. "I kiss you now?"

"Please do," Kent breathes.

Alexei does.

THE END

 

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi to me on tumblr at [whovianravenclaw](http://whovianravenclaw.tumblr.com)!
> 
> Leave a comment and make my day <3


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